The Back Catalog Of A Band (That Dosen't Exist Yet)

What can I say? I'm a day dreamer. I will spend most of my day thinking about how, one day, I'll make artistic decisions for my band, five, ten, fifteen years down the road: how our sound will evolve and mutate, what our songs will be about, what our album covers will look like, I think about it all. Here, I'll share with you how I plan my band, Jerk Jerk and the Dolphins will work out over the years.

Debut Album: Sedro!

So the band finally gets together and we start writing an album, it will be called Sedro! and will be about nothing in particular. I'll try to be tuneful, putting my best foot forward with verse/chorus/verse songs clocking in between 2:30 and 3:30 minutes.
What it will sound like

Second Album: Children De La Luna

We make it fairly big and get a indie record deal where I have to enough artistic freedom to make as pretentious an album as possible. As you can see by the front cover, I have an image from the silent turn of the century sci-fi film Voyage De La Lune and a pretty gay font to boot. The album will be studied inside and out over its cryptic meaning, is it about life? love? the beyond? It will be on NME's top indie albums of the decade, and it will all a hoax. What the album really is about is smoking marijuana. As a result of the copious marijuana consumption, it will take on a heavier, slower tone musically, with spacey lyrics about whats inside my fridge or the best way to jerk off. The Verse/Chorus/Verse deal is pretty much gone, letting us jam on as much god awful noise as we can stomach.
What it will sound like

First EP: Super Fuck Volume One

At this point, we'll be so full of unwarranted self importance, we'll hate our fans and we'll decide we need to let them know it. So we release Super Fuck Volume One, an EP you could barely call an music, let alone a collection of songs. It will sound something akin to playing our instruments out of tune, drunk and high on pills and paint thinner, played in a bathroom, and recorded on a $29.99 radio shack Dictaphone.
What it will sound like

Second EP: Super Fuck Volume Two

After we get bored alienating our audience, we go all out into making actual music, although still harsh and untuneful to the uninitiated, It will be lauded as a minor masterpiece (in spite of the pornographic artwork) on our part as it will be the first record to feature me playing nothing but a Sitar.
What it will sound like

Third Album: Love

So we take a year off the back of the immensely successful Children De La Luna/Super Fuck world tour, and we brood. Maybe its the serious drug addiction in the band, or maybe its the bitter divorce or two, but when our third album comes out, something's not quite right. "how bad can an album called 'Love' be?" our audience asks, well, think of the word 'love' as defined by a serial killing rapist cannibal necrophile, and it gets pretty messed up.

What it will sound like

To be continued and elaborated upon.

(Written under the influence of the Boredoms)